There’s no getting away from it, the first year of marriage is tough. Whether you celebrated your nuptials with an epic wedding weekend or marked the occasion a little more traditionally, nothing quite prepares you for the journey back to reality away from the fun, excitement and chaos of the wedding planning process.
While post-wedding and honeymoon blues are certainly normal, there are several steps you can take to continue that wedded bliss through the first year and beyond…
1. Prepare for newlywed blues
The wedding and honeymoon represent huge milestones in any relationship, which means many couples can feel like there’s not a lot else to look forward to once they’ve been and gone.
Preparing for newlywed blues is the first step to overcoming them, and so too is understanding the tell-tale signs that you and/or your new spouse are going through it. Here Cosmopolitan explains more about the signs and symptoms of post-wedding depression:
“Pointing out the signs that you might notice if you’re experiencing post-wedding blues, Dr Ounnas says to note whether you’re feeling more irritable and/or experiencing a persistent low mood. Other symptoms, she explains, include being unable to enjoy things you previously enjoyed, poor concentration, as well as a disturbed sleeping pattern and/or appetite.”
2. Be there for each other
Whether you’ve got a case of post-wedding blues or not, sharing your feelings with your partner is key to normalising and neutralising them. Working together on your feelings, especially during this crucial first year, will create a fantastic foundation that’ll help you grow and strengthen your partnership long after you’ve tied the knot.
3. Look back on your journey so far…
When things get a little hectic during the wedding planning process coming back to what’s really important helps soon-to-be married couples refocus, destress and move forward positively. The same advice should be relied on during the testing times every married couple goes through.
Think back on your journey so far, the qualities you adored in your partner during those early days, and those that you’ve grown to love as your relationship has developed to put things into perspective.
4. …but also look forward
Looking forward to bigger and better things is what keeps every couple motivated in one way or another. Make plans – it could be a romantic weekend away or an impromptu date night – having a goal to achieve and an outcome to enjoy together will keep things moving in the right direction.
5. Spend time together
Finding time for each other is important, not just during the first year but every year of marriage. After laying ground rules regarding how you’ll handle money, chores and other aspects of married life that are essential but aren’t necessarily fun or romantic, you can then work out how you can spend quality time together.
Make time for the little things, indulge in a few date nights, keep your sex life as healthy as possible, and connect emotionally to ensure you have the makings of a happy and long marriage.
6. Understand how to handle conflict
It’s not just how you’ll spend the good times that matters. You’re likely to encounter conflict during marriage, but how you approach this will ensure that disagreements are resolved in a way that’s constructive and respectful. Learning how to handle and overcome conflict during the first year of marriage can actually improve your relationship in the long term.
When you do find yourself at loggerheads, understand, recognise and respect your differences without judgement and with mutual respect.
7. Don’t forget about you
The first step to loving your new relationship status is loving yourself. By nurturing your independence, confidence and self-esteem, you can be the very best version of yourself as well as one-half of a fantastic newlywed couple.
Balance spending time together with spending time individually, cultivating the hobbies, interests, passions and goals that are important to you.
