5 things you shouldn’t say to a bride-to-be

Organising the wedding of your dreams is stressful, there’s no doubt about that. While we’ve all heard of the mystical creature that is the ‘bridezilla’, the planning process can leave the most level-headed bride-to-be a little frayed and overwhelmed as they search for their version of big day perfection.

With this in mind, family members, and friends become a vital source of support, with helping hands thoroughly appreciated at every stage.

As well as helping out where you can, not saying certain things can stop any brides-to-be who are teetering on the edge from being pushed over it!

Here we detail exactly what not to say to the bride-to-be in your life in the run up to that very special day.

Am I invited to your wedding?

Don’t put the bride-to-be under any more pressure by asking whether you’re invited to the wedding as soon as you find out she’s engaged.

No one should assume that they’re definitely invited to anyone’s wedding, especially if they’re a work colleague or a part of the extended family.

Close knit guest lists are becoming more and more common. If you’re not invited, wish the bride well, and send them a thoughtful wedding card.

It’s costing me a fortune to attend!

Unless you’re already married, it’s likely that you don’t know the half of what weddings really cost. Whether the bride is planning a big, elaborate wedding, or a more intimate affair that’s bang on budget, comments about how much it’s costing you to attend won’t be well received.

The cost of attending a wedding may be rising – this recent study revealed that guests spent on average £391 each to attend weddings last year, that’s a third more than last year – but so is the cost of getting married. Keep this in mind before commenting on wedding guest costs.

Can we choose the food we want?

Months, if not years, of deliberation would have gone into every aspect of the wedding, including the catering. Catering for 80 plus guests is hard and it’s safe to say that what’s served won’t be to everyone’s preference.

Trust that the menu chosen is a menu that your bride and groom loves. Of course vegan and vegetarian alternatives will be available, but don’t expect the whole menu to be changed just because you don’t like salmon.

Will I get to invite a plus-one?

Plus-ones are bones of contention for many when planning a wedding, but there are some etiquette rules that could stop you from asking the dreaded question of whether you’ll get a plus-one. 

Wedding stationery specialist Amber Harrison explains the general etiquette but tread carefully, this may not be the mind-set of every bride:

“I advise, and I see more and more, that [couples] take a good look at their list and say ‘If we only have one or two single friends who don’t get a plus-one, will they enjoy themselves?

Will they feel uncomfortable? How can we make them have a great time? Even if they’re not necessarily in a long-term relationship, maybe they can bring someone”

Many brides only allow plus-ones if they are married to, engaged to or in a long term relationship with the wedding guest.

Although the maid of honour, bridal party, best man, and groomsmen tend to be offered plus-ones regardless of relationship statuses.

It’s just a piece of paper!

Marriage is so much more than just a piece of paper. As well as being a fabulous event that the couple will look back on for the rest of their lives, it’s a celebration of their union and love, and a major milestone in their relationship so far. Celebrate it with them.


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